Dawn D'Online

I mean you’re cute, I can totally see that, Dude….I’m not saying you don’t have potential to be gorgeous. However, that piggish honker has GOT TO GO. It is ALL YOU CAN SEE because it swallows the rest of your face! I’m only telling you what your fans want to say, but don’t have the balls to….and I’m not saying anything HOLLYWOOD hasn’t already said to you over and over in private, mmkay?

My advice? Get a nose job and get it now! Until then? Take the advice of a woman who has photographed many flawed celebrities….tip your face DOWN in photos and look over your nose. See images below for an example (although you haven’t given me much to work with….) ok, Taylor?

Kris Kardashian

Ok, this psycho momma from the hit show “Meet The Kardashians” is so desperate to create a life for herself on the show, that she was willing to drug her own husband, Bruce Jenner, with organic penis pills.

Well, guess what? Her son, Rob, got the cup of coffee that was meant for Bruce and woke up from his nap with a boner from hell….

Did you also ever notice how she always seems to pose herself just so, pout her lips just so, as if she practiced it in front of a mirror a million times to “get it just right”?

Get a life, Kris! Maybe if you acted a little more sanely and a little more like a wife Bruce would naturally get a hard on and you wouldn’t have to drug him to get him to have sex with you.

Meow!!

Can you say T O O L?

Poor little Kim Kardashian…you’d think she’d take her looks (and skin!) more seriously since she insists on being nothing more than a pretty face, right?

Wrong…..and to top it all off, the Queen of Shallowness decided to take a photo of her ridiculous burn and share it with us via Twitter. And I quote: “PLEASE HELP ME! I am so sunburned! I fell asleep with huge glasses on yesterday! This tan line is not ok!!!”

What a freaking retard! “Oh, this tan line is not ok, but I want you all to see me like this anyway…please tell me I’m still pretty, won’t you, pleeeasssseee??”

GIVE ME AN EVER LOVING BREAK!!!!!

How many brain cells does it take to either stay awake while sunbathing or at least take the sunglasses off? Answer? Too many for Kim Kardashian, apparently. Isn’t that sad?

Don’t you just want to curl up into a little ball and cry for her?

N E X T!!!!!

Did y’all see this last night? WTF? Taylor Swift gets up to give her acceptance speech for Best Video of the Year last night on Mtv’s Video Music Awards Show and Kanye West gets up, grabs the mic from her and says “Taylor, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!”

Again, WTF?? This seems to be Kanye’s M.O….he doesn’t get what he wants so he throws a fit, and since his mother’s death, his behavior has gotten worse. Look Kanye, I know your mother’s death hit you very hard, but that doesn’t give you the right to ruin someone else’s big moment. GROW THE FUCK UP, DUDE. You aren’t the only parentless person on this planet, so stop acting like an immature child already….IT’S GETTING OLD. Hell, even Beyonce looked embarassed by your outburst….

And one more thing, Kanye….quit acting like this world owes you something, because it doesn’t. Having a big chip on your shoulder only makes you look sad and pathetic. Go find yourself a decent psychiatrist and call us when you have had the Chippus Removicus procedure done, mmmmkkkkaayyy???

Let’s see him post about THIS on his blog….

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The Daisy Of Love Show on VH1

I have to say something about this…

It is SO FREAKIN’ OBVIOUS that Riki Rachtman is in love with Daisy on the Daisy of Love Show on VH1 (SEEN HERE) that quite frankly, I’m not sure why I even watch it anymore. If she can’t see that Riki wants to bump uglies with her, she has a lot more to worry about than finding love…she needs to find glasses. Ya know what I’m sayin’?? I’m sorry folks, but this aggression cannot stand (lol, I’m even quoting the Dude…)…. I HAVE to open my mouth again!

Ok, let me backtrack. I just watched the episode where Fox’s “girlfriend” call and laid the 411 of her situation with Fox on Daisy, and thereby getting himself eliminated. Now, the scene where Riki goes into Daisy’s bedroom after she got off of the phone with Fox’s girlfriend (it’s about 27 minutes into the  35 minute episode) and told her he wanted Fox “gone”, was the selling point for me. I’ve been watching this show since the beginning (I am now ashamed to say) and I had watched a NUMBER of scenes where it was getting to be obvious how he felt about Daisy, but this one takes the cake.

Of course, for all I know, this show will end with her jumping into Riki’s arms and exclaiming “at long last I found thee!“, but I somehow doubt it. What I do know is, I think we should all start a letter writing campaign to VH1 and convince them that they need to give Riki his own “Riki Rachtman Headbanger’s Ball of Love Show” and just get it over with. As it is, VH1 is running out of people to make shows about, so I think they should jump on this train, tout de suit.

And puh-lease don’t get me started on that r tard, New York and her damn show “New York Goes To Work”…yeah, I said R TARD…

The Red Wings didn’t bring it last night….in fact, I didn’t even feel like I was watching Game 7,  the LAST game of the SEASON. I thought for sure Detroit had it in the bag. But to lose to Pittsburgh who just BARELY made it into the playoffs in the first place? HELL NO!!! *Sigh*

Ok, the whole reason Marion Hossa left the Penguins and signed with the Red Wings in July of 2008 was because he felt that the Red Wings had the best shot at winning the cup…he even turned down A LOT of money to do so. And did you SEE how red his face was last night? He KNEW he had to shake hands with the Penguins…a team he ALL BUT SAID wouldn’t win the cup. Poor guy.

You know what else I don’t get? Sidney Crosby touches the Prince of Wales trophy and STILL wins the cup. How can that be??? I know from several NHL friends that it is a NO-NO to touch the President’s trophy or the Prince of Wales trophy because it meant you wouldn’t “touch the Stanley Cup.” How did he do that? I am STILL in disbelief over that! Maybe this will prove to everyone that just because the goalie went around his couch 3 times before he left the house, doesn’t mean he’ll win…

And don’t get me wrong…I LOVE the fact that Crosby and Malkin won the cup and so early in their careers to boot. I mean, Sidney not only won the cup at an earlier age and at an earlier point in his career than our beloved Great One did, but he was the youngest captain to hoist the cup as well. And I do so truly believe that Malkin deserves to be MVP. Anybody who saw him play saw that. And, if it hadn’t been my Red Wings they were playing, I would have been rooting the Penguins on myself…but,

*WAH!!!*

This list is in no particular order as these things bother me on a regular basis!

•  If one more person says something derogatory to me about Kobe Bryant I will scream. My love for Kobe is a love for his basketball skills and has nothing to do with his personal life.  But if you want to argue about whether he is innocent or not, bring it on…just make sure you have your facts straight.

•  Barry Melrose. Ok, he knows hockey and he DID take the Kings to the Stanley Cup Finals, I will give him that. But something about him just gets under my skin. Even the sound of his voice makes my skin crawl. I really mean no offense to the guy, I just can’t help it. I think I began to dislike him when he kept INSISTING on twisting his damn Campbell Conference ring around and around and around on his finger in an attention seeking “Look at me, I’m a Campbell Cup Winner” sort of a way, while on the NHL 2Night show with John Buccigross in the 90′s . Oh, and for all of you Freudians just WAITING to jump all over me about my latent sexual attraction to Barry Melrose, watch out… I will wretch just as soon as I scratch your eyes out. Mmmkay?

• Dwight Howard’s ears. You know, on the Orlando Magic?? Is it me or are they too small for his head? It could quite possibly be the reason he doesn’t win the trophy…I’m just sayin’.

• Stupid people. This really needs no further explanation. They are everywhere.

• People who INSIST upon picking their noses while driving their car. After living in Los Angeles for 15 years and being stuck in THE WORST traffic day in and day out (Why I would insist on taking the 101 freeway every into the Valley from Hollywood and back I will never know.) I can tell you I have seen this ALOT and it is disgusting…..so much so, I now never look into or directly at any cars around me. Which probably isn’t a good idea, since someone may be pointing a gun at me…ahem….